being good in bed, being present in bed and soul depth

Over the years; some of my close friends have heard me say often: she wasn’t deep enough. What do you mean? They always thought in the physical realm, as if her pussy wasn’t deep enough and I had the biggest dick in the world. lol.

The question, of course, was “how was your night?”. My answer had nothing to do with the woman’s body, but her soul; or rather her ability to be present while having sex. I think a good analogy would be to add spices and seasoning to a dish. Most people are bland in bed, it’s an often unconscious activity driven by deep biological processes that they just can’t control at all. It happens fast, they have only one goal, to cum; preferably pretty fast. It’s hard for them to enjoy the process, the goal is more interesting… it’s a chase forward, and then it happens so fast they have a hard time knowing exactly what happened; it’s happening, it’s coming, I’m cumming woaoooaaaa.. I came. That’s it. lol.

Once in a while I meet a gem, someone with depth who enjoys the process and isn’t that focused on the end goal. Someone with delicate aromas in her soul, and different regions of the soul to explore and get acquainted with. Sex becomes an intricate process, allowing hours of exploration in different layers of entanglement. The mechanical aspect becomes less relevant, in fact it becomes the shadow of the main attraction, and is relegated to simply follow the whims of where deeper layers and subtleties of pleasure will lead the encounter.

Then there are real rare gems, someone with a deep soul and who is extremely present in the body. Presence is the ability to move your attention deliberately to different parts of your body, either in a focused or unfocused way. The issue with focused attention is that it isn’t so broad and can cause a form of “boredom”, or “repetitiveness”. Whereas unfocused attention is broader in spectrum and fills your soul in such a contentious way; in such that it isn’t polarized, you get both ‘sides’ of the pleasure. To me that’s my favorite and in my life I’ve met maybe two or three women like that; who had the ability to have unfocused presence throughout her whole body.

What makes “me” special might be that I can feel everything the woman feels like it is happening to me, so the deeper the soul, the more presence she has, the more soul-filling experience I get.

There is of course another category which can be interesting for one or two encounters but for which I rapidly loose interest. The “technical” woman; the one that is good in bed in the physical realm. Those are also extremely rare since women in general prefer to be led, to be dominated, to follow the lead. It’s a biological thing I get it, kind of sad anyways. the playfulness of interchanging the roles during intercourse is quite captivating to say the least! I have yet to meet a woman who’s fluid in all three aspects, and the women I’ve met who were “good in bed” primarily focused on the physical aspect; almost exclusively. It’s fun, engaging, exciting, and it rarely captivates my attention more than an hour. Whereas the other types can keep me engaged for hours.

There you have it. Now the interesting part! 😉

Soul depth, in almost all cases, is acquired through pain. You can’t cheat this, pain pushes you to go deeper and reach for hidden resources inside of you. For that to happen (properly), you need awareness (your light into the darkness); otherwise pain brings confusion, not depth. For some reason I’ve found that strong souls who are acquainted with pain might not be the most stable personalities; however that’s a subject for another blog post :p

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